HUMAN BEINGS CAN BE IN LOVE WITH MANY OTHERS -- POLYAMORY
My partner and I are naturist (social nudist) and believe in Polyamory and we feel an Agapé toward all gay bi men.
We have been partners for almost 19 years -- we were monogamous for
16 years, but now we are polyamorous. If we had try to stay monogamous,
we would have ended a truly loving relationship
Unfortunately,
as I look back on my life from 1947 to 2001 (When I met my partner), I do not
have many fond memories and great experiences -- I just remember a lot
of anxiety, depression, worry, and sadness ... I know...boo hoo. 
I
have been a happy person since I met my partner and as we grew and evolved
through our relationship, we opened up to accept our need for intimacy
(emotional, social, cognitive, and physical) from more than just the two
of us -- from other gay men. We made a conscious decision to become
polyamorous in 2015. Monogamy would have destroyed our relationship,
even though, we really loved and continue to be in love with each other.
A platonic intimate friend, asked me about my reference
to having a special love for all gay and bi men. It is a love that I
call Agape. He asked me to explain Agape to him. It really got me
thinking about myself and my feelings about intimacy and my feelings
toward men in general, so I wrote the following. Tell me if you have any
thoughts.
Agape or Agapé
The essence of agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object of love. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New Testament to refer to romantic or sexual love. Nor does it refer to close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is
used. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the
will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty
moral nature and strong character. Agape love is beautifully described
in 1 Corinthians 13.
Source: What is agape love?
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My
Agapé is of gay and bi men and it is unconditional and includes many
levels of intimacy. To me, Agapé combines the best aspects of 3 Greek
loves -- Agape, Philia, and Eros. See the following website.
I believe that Monogamy is actually a denial of our Agapé -- Monogamy demands that our highest love is for one person, our "sole/soul" mate
and one person only. Humans are primates and, as primates, we seek
intimacy, affection, warmth, and love from many other humans. Monogamy
calls this "Cheating" thus, it demeans our agapé for others and tries to
distort our loving relationships. Monogamy causes us to break up with a
partner we love, in order to love another.
Naturally
speaking, we can share intimacy -- physical, emotional, social,
cognitive, and even spiritual and psychic intimacy with many others.
Polyamory recognizes, emphasizes, and supports this natural part of
human nature. Monogamy denies it and corrupts this natural agapé by
naming it promiscuity.The lack of "success" of monogamy is demonstrated
by a 50% rate of divorce, and a much higher rate of "cheating" among
monogamous couples. "it
can be estimated that 50-60% of married men and 45-55% of married women
engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their
marriage and almost half come to therapy because of it." http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J398v01n03_03
However,
Polyamorous persons do not jump from person to person. Guys in an open
relationship do that. Guys who believe in polyamory look for intimacy
first --although sex is a human need like eating, sleeping, breathing,
defecating, and urinating, Physical intimacy may be sexual, but its
purpose is not sex -- it is an expression of intimacy and one way to
fulfill the human need for intimacy. I say this a lot -- There are at
least four types of intimacy -- social, emotional, cognitive, and
physical as well as possibly psychic and spiritual. It is those
intimacies that polyamorous people look for. If physical intimacy
happens, it is not necessarily sexual -- a cuddle, holding each other,
massage exchange or, of course, it could be sexual. As you know, orgasm
when there is mutual caring is one of the greatest moments of happiness
in a man's life.
I
do love touch, especially since I am Italian. The part of intimacy that
I get the highest level of fulfillment from is lying in bed with
another man nude, with mutual hugging, rubbing each other's entire
bodies, and kissing gently or passionately. I love the feeling of the
warmth of the body and soul of the other man who craves and needs to
share male to male intimacy. Orgasm is nice, but for me, pales in
comparison to the glow of warm, loving body contact, often called
cuddling.
At
my age, I feel that life is short, so many man to share intimacy with,
and I am on the downside of life. My only regret is that I did not
understand Agape and Polyamory all my life.
Now
you know a bit more about my thinking -- to me intimacy can range from
close platonic friendship, to non-sexual cuddle friends, to therapeutic
massage friends, to erotic/sensual touch friends, to a love making
polyamory intimate -- but with men who are sharing intimacy and these
behaviours are a manifestation of that intimacy.
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